Free, Free at Last

I was visiting my Mom in the hospital yesterday. At one point, my sisters and I went out for lunch. They wanted to make another quick stop before heading back to the hospital.
While we were tooling around, I noticed that my energy was dropping rapidly. Being a coach, I guess I dropped into 'what is really going on here' mode. I knew that I was concerned about my mother but she is really improving. I knew that I was a passenger and kind of at the mercy of my sister's agenda and when I have something to do, it is true I like to be at the helm. But that wasn't it either.
Yet my irritability just kept escalating. Then it occurred to me. It was judgment. Look at her with that hair, or shoes or what was she thinking or what is that driver thinking or why did they put these speed bumps in here?
There were so many whys and whats that I was going into overwhelm.
It reminded me how draining standing in judgment of others is. Always watching to see where others stray from your own lines of acceptability. Or what is wise. Or fashionable or considerate.
Really, does it matter who agrees with you and who doesn't? Who dresses in a way that you find nothing less than ridiculous? Or even what the city planners were thinking about when they put the speed bumps in?
My sisters are good women. Thoughtful and kind women. But we, as a society, and maybe as a species, are so quick to make judgments about others. We rarely even think about it or what effect passing judgment has not only on others but especially on ourselves.
The power that we have at our fingertips is over ourselves and the way we process information, the way we respond to the world around us. I used to be a big time judge and then found out I had a lot more time on my hands to do what I actually wanted to do when I gave it up. Kind of like a judgment fast.
Live and let live. Not just an old James Bond movie...it is also a great way to live.
I don't always remember to stay centered. So I listen to my body. Am I tensing up? If so, why? So often when this happens, I find myself in judgment. And often of myself. So I shake it off, get a grip and choose a more empowering perspective.
How does judging affect you? Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Emotionally?
Here's your challenge for today...what will you do with the energy that you have as a result of giving up judging? What can you create today with that time? This week? This year?
See what a difference it makes.
Feel free to comment on your experiences.
Enjoy!

Graduation

My niece, Melissa, graduated from college this past weekend. It was amazing watching this young woman, whom I use to carry around and scoop up so easily, walk across the stage and be awarded her diploma. She is now officially a teacher. And what a teacher she will be. She is the kind of person who really affects those she comes in contact with. In the best possible ways.
It got me thinking about graduating. Yes, graduating from college is a huge deal. Getting married, having a child, getting divorced, buying your first house, getting a new job. All huge deals. Moving from one state of being to another.
But it occurred to me that we are all graduating at a much greater frequency than we think.
Yes, we see the big milestones.
But I think that the bigger changes happen in the quiet moments. The second we have an idea about a new business, or listen to that inner voice that tells us to choose right instead of left. Being instead of doing.
Life is made up of a series of graduation moments...from victim to empowered, from negative to positive. If we are living, I don't see how we could possibly keep from moving. And isn't that the grandest part of life? The moving from one place to another, the new experiences, the opportunities for growth and new perspectives, to feel something in a new way. To love in the way that is most appropriate at that moment in time. To adopt a new pet, make a new friend. Learn something for the first time. Read a great book or see a fabulous movie. Have the best tiramsu that you have ever tasted. See the sun rise over the ocean or set over a meadow. To let something go that we have carried for a long time that no longer serves us. Develop respect for someone. To say hello and to say goodbye.
I remember when I was a kid, I missed a day at school. I loved school so that was an odd occurrence. As it happened, the teacher also missed school and a substitute filled in. The next day everyone was buzzing with what an awesome teacher he was. And I missed it.
I knew then, back in 4th grade, that we are affected by our experiences...everyone of them.
Celebrate all the moments. The big ones. The tiniest of them. They are all important. And they all deserve recognition for they come together to make us who we are.

The filter and the sponge

This is the story of the Filter and the Sponge (inspired by Joe Nunziata).
There once was a little filter who breezed through life. She was happy and open to all sorts of experiences. She had a little friend, the Sponge. The Sponge loved life. She wanted to soak it up. In fact, she loved life so much that she wanted to soak it ALL up and never let anything go.
The filter and the sponge decided to go out together one day. It was going to be a grand adventure...new people to meet, things to see, and things to experience.
As soon as the filter and the sponge arrived at their first fabulous stop, they came across a very sour lemon. The filter said "Ah, I love the smell of lemon. It is so clean and fresh and makes me feel so happy." So the filter took in all that she loved about the lemon.
The sponge said "Ah, I too love the smell of lemon. I also love its color. Let me just soak it all up." And she did.
They moved onto their next great adventure. But the sponge wasn't feeling too good. She has taken in the great parts of the lemon but also the little seeds. And the stringy stuff between the sections, and to be honest, this lemon was particularly sour.
She asked the filter how she was feeling. The filter was Great! as she went up to a cotton candy stand.
Ah, cotton candy, thought the sponge. That will help balance the sour.
She took in all she could while the filter smelled the sweetness and enjoyed the light spun pink.
Very quickly, the sponge realized that it wasn't going to help at all. In fact, she felt even worse now. She felt too bad to even say anything to the filter.
They then came upon the perfect treat. Fresh strawberries lightly dipped in the most heavenly of chocolates. The filter took it all in. All the perfection.
The sponge...well, while this was everything that she had wanted, she couldn't take anything else in. She was too full of all the things she didn't want.
The filter, when noticing that the sponge wasn't enjoying the strawberries said, My Friend, you love strawberries. Why don't you have some?
The sponge said "I have no room. I am full of lemon smell and rind and tartness and yellow and pink and sugar and..."
Filter said "Oh dear, why didn't you take just what you wanted? Why did you take everything, even the stuff you didn't love?"
The sponge, with her little sponge head hanging low, said "It is my nature to soak up everything. I didn't know that I could choice what I wanted and leave what I didn't.
The filter said "It is always your choice, my friend. You should fill yourself, but only with what you love."
Sponge said, "Thank you. Now I know and I will only soak up what I love. The rest I will let go. And when I become too full, I will release that which I no longer love so that I may experience wonderful new things as they come along."
Filter responded, "It is a very wonderful life, Sponge."

To Be and Not To Do

My niece is graduating college on Friday. It is pretty exciting. She decided to become a teacher and what a teacher she has become. I was able to sit in on a class of hers recently and was struck by her presence...like she has been there forever. A natural.
So it is with great joy that we, her family, are celebrating this weekend.
Maybe we are going overboard with the party but she loves a party. I am the decorating committee.
I have a lot to do this week for be ready for the big event.
And when I woke this morning, I was laying in bed thinking about all the things that I have to do. Sewing some accent table clothes and table runners to go with the white linens, make a handbound book for a scrapbook of her graduation and party, make her gift. I have already taken care of the various clear glass containers that have sprouting wheat grass for the centerpieces. Yeah, it's just a graduation party not a wedding but it is a special day.
I was feeling the weight of my To Do List when I got a great reminder from the Universe and Elyse Hope Killeron.
Instead of looking at what I have to do today, look at who I want to be today.
Today I want to be peace. I am love. I am flow. I am ease. I am joy.
So being Peace, Love, Flow, Ease and Joy, how do I see what I 'have' to do? If I am these things, how would I handle things?
The first thing I found was that I suddenly felt like I have all the time I need. Rush rushed out. The tightness I felt disappeared. I felt good. And now I am actually looking forward to doing these things. Because I am doing them as Peace, Love, Flow, Ease and Joy. I am breathing deeper, filling my BEING with life.
It feels good and it makes a difference. In how I feel. In how I act. In the quality of my now.
From today forward, I will make lists of who I get to be instead of what I have to do.
Wow.

one

There is a message that I have been receiving lately that is inescapable.
It doesn't matter if anyone else gives me any recognition...what matters is that I give myself recognition.
This message has come to me from all different sources. Apparently I wasn't getting the message clearly enough so the Universe just kept on sending it. And for that I am really grateful.
I was talking with Coach Teresa Haines of Colorado. She is a dynamo and she made a great statement...If you are looking for recognition from someone else, that's where you will stay. If you are looking for recognition for a job well done from an employer, then you will always work for someone else.
Wow.
If the recognition of our own worth, and even more than this, if our own worth truly comes from us, then we are freed...freed from the constraints of others opinions and expectations.
When I trashed all the files on my laptop that related to the job I was released from, I felt a huge surge of energy. I felt the weight lift. I found that the space that job had taken was now free and clear...like a room in a new house. I got to choose the furniture and the touches that I wanted to fill this space with. What a blast!
Each of us has our own light. And even if we are the only light in the darkness, the darkness fades. We don't need someone else to tells us. It's nice, certainly. But it doesn't stay with us the way that our own deep down knowing does.
What if each of us took 2 minutes a day to recognize the cool things that make us unique? What would that do for us...for our world?
Let's find out...starting now.